Growing Up

Once upon a time..when I was new to the world , I used to enjoy even if I fell down, I used to like playing in the hot sun, I loved sharing the left over with my friends...As the days passed by my parents taught me that I should be care ful enough not to fall, my grand mother taught me that heat damages our health, my girl friend told me I need to save for my rainy. Now, I am scared of falling, conscious of my health and greedy of money. The world calls this growing . Only I know how much I suffocate within. I want to help others but cant because I lost the habit. I want to love but am afraid that I might be rejected. I want to share but fear poverty. Is this called growing? 

If so, why am I not able to enjoy it? Why am I not as blissful as a flower and as bright as a sun?
If so, why is the smile not as brilliant as the spark of a diamond. Why is all that appears not true?

Did I change over the years? Did i lose what I gained because of the fears?

A soul