Game

Do we really Know what we want in our life?

It is so easy to say that we want to achieve some thing, we want to be some one, we want to go some where?

I some times, wonder what people would say, if I ask them " Do you really know what you want?"

The most expected response to that question is .." I want to be an XYZ in so and so time"

Have we been taken so much by our occupations that we barely know what we would be without those? Over a period of time, jobs get into out blood, soul and brain. I remember reading it some where "Earlier, organisations used to pay the employees for the work they did with their hands. Now they do for using heart,brains and hands" Perfect quote to mention that capitalists have also invested in the human emotions of a social animal. That't the beauty...While an optimist within me says that all these do provide a better place to work. Conditions which increase the productivity of an employee. Factors which give us comfort zones and make us addicted to come back to the same place every day, a realist in me tells me " who is this fetching?" the one who invested in the entire organization? or is it the brand ?

Sometimes, I can't help but wonder on how we are habituated to live lives of habits. For some, working on schedule, for some smoking and drinking on schedule, for some praying on schedule. People may differ based on the experiences they have of these, however, what happens at the end is still unknown. May be the journey becomes easier or tougher, but what's the ultimate destination.

Do the basic biological theories of survival of fittest and struggle for existence still hold good? If yes, then where has been the development in the human race?

Its a Game

The Last Time I cried

As depressing as it may sound, this is reality. Which each of us go through at one stage of life, we admit or not, we know it or not.

This happened during handling an assignment at Filipines. The days, when I was away from home, when I met people whom I never knew, who I never thought existed. After a short time spent with them, I learnt how human's are related by their very nature. Life is the same, where ever we are, however we are. We are very common with the pains, hunger, loneliness, happiness, its just that we lead our lives in different styles in different time zones. When I met these friends from filipines, my belief that Love is Universal was only affirmed.It was so affirmed that it was ought to be true. The quick smoke breaks, the little expressions of each other's feelings, the coffee cups, the deep conversations and many more made me realize the unique connection all of us have. The time flew. People who made a positive impression, a few who left a blank space. Perhaps, life is an Oscillation between all these stages.

Some times, I think, Is being in Love and expressing it bound to gender,age,time and Space? When we know that by expressing it, both the parties feel better, why not do it? Anyways, after a series of incidents I learnt, that being with people we tend to feel insecure because of a preset notion, which may or may not be true.

Life is very incomplete without the knowledge of yourself and why you are the way you are. When the day of return was ahead, I cried my heart out for days. This time of my life, made me realize that we are all one. I cried for the waiter who served me food, for the receptionist who wished me everyday, for my Yosi friend who held his thoughts at a gulp. My friend who gifted me one new gift everyday. My friend who brought me prawns every tuesday, some one who drank beer 'san miguel' sharing the cosmic connection.

all of them who helped me to be what I am today.

Sometime in the Past

Sometime in the past, I thought that love is a universal binder. It helps us understand each other better. It helps us maintain harmony amongst ourselves making life easy. Sometime in the past, I respected the others' thoughts, cried when they were sad, helped them recover stress. Sometime in the past, I thought love is beyond sexes, beyond social bindings, beyond origins. I believed that Hugging some one can bring them closer to us. Looking into their eyes can make the relationship stronger until one day...


When..crying for their griefs was considered emotional instability, hugging them was considered too lame, loving them was a stain on sexual orientation.

So, what's wrong in this. Was it wrong to love some one so unconditionally? Was it wrong to cry for some one? Should I have associated with a meaning for what I do?

Biggest of All..Can I ever become that again???

Technology

Quite astonishing to see the way life changes so fast and so dramatic. " School" used to remind us of a room with wooden tables and desks, a middle aged teacher with a cane, a black board with some works of chalk. The mental muscle memory still has the fragrance of the chalk and the chalk dust which fell on our uniform when  clearing the board. The work we used to do for teacher's day and other national holidays. Dressing up then was white and white.Lazy bums (like me) polishing their shoes early in the morning, coloring their shoes with the chalk dust..Those are the memories which perhaps the kids of this age wouldn't know of. The modern ages have brought so much of technology into the classroom..there is hardly any use of the blackboard and the CANE. Is this what development is? If that's true ..what has the technological advancement  brought into man's life? Insomnia, overweight, new cancers, restless souls, lifeless bodies, ever lasting drinking habits?

Is life what we make out of it or is the way it is?

Analytically speaking, if life is what we make it, what do we know of it to make of it? Do we know what's the next minute all about? End of the day, struggle for existence and survival of the fittest have just taken a new form in the modern ages leaving the minds blank and a tendency to run behind a mirage..To run until we realize that it's not the end. We pass it on like the Olympic torch from one person to another, one generation to another..adding polythene to the mother earth, carbon monoxide to the father air and we feeding on them.

Serene, sound and silent sleep is what we need. How do we get that when we are so occupied, when our lungs are filled with so much of LPG converts, when our foreheads are frowned even if the eyes are closed..

This is the modernization of the earth which gives no room to modernization of thoughts. When there is no thought development, I wonder how will there be a change in the way Human race can develop. Isn't thought supposed to be the seed of deed? If we can't think without a materialistic attachment, how is that a thought development?

I wonder...

Truth

Its quite astonishing that we don't notice the truth of life while we chase for the eternal false. Let us first understand what truth is. The definition of truth is inevitably different for each of us. What I consider truth may not be truth for you. However, we as humans have a pattern of thought, the more people say some thing as truth, truth it is. That's how our cultures, civilizations have evolved perhaps. 

Only because some one said that developing a car, inventing an aero plane is  development, which of course was a response to the necessity, we followed them and that's how development is defined both economically and technologically. But is that true development? If it is so, why are we unable to keep ourselves happy and content. 

Nevertheless, the understanding of how strong an opinion can be is really important to understand the operation of a culture

Quest

Read some where..Evey being under the sky is trying to get independent from the bondages. Logic doesn't have an end. There is always a room to question what we do and why we do. These questions and the quest for the answers take us deeper down into the life. Although, these manifest as the technological advancements of the human being and the change of the world from rocks to buildings, a watch at things help us understand that these all are like castles of cards.Benign or malign, they just exist. The rest is perception.

Courage

When we walk through the dark night on streets, it so usual that the dogs bark at us. What's different is the way dogs communicate. The dogs from the other lane are alert. All of them bark..trying to pounce upon you. You'd be scared But if you set your foot forward and stand erect, they stop. Yes they'd continue to bark. This is the nature of dogs and cowards.

The Irony is that all of us are cowards at some point in time. Even if it were for a split second.It is not courage by itself. Courage is the ability to look into reality straight in the eye.What we need to understand is that we carry fear for a long time because we denied the truth in the beginning. Although the definition of truth is based on our perception, we need to some times, watch the truth naked. This will help us know what we are. The denial will only cause fake smiles, ego, violent reactions and we can never be happy. Because we know that we say and what we think are not the same.

Of course every one has their own path of manifesting this and realizing. That is bound.

Chain

Sometimes, life just seems to be like a pendulum, oscillating between various points,covering various intersections, moving various angles,..its just so draining. All theories said and done, there is definitely a push from one expectation to another in all the stages of life. Although, wee tell ourselves "that's how life accrues value and that's the purpose of life", we know that this is not what we seek. There is a unique destiny which awaits each one of us. Something beyond,job, career,family and all.Something to do with our self. Some thing which keeps the human soul in harmony with the others in the planet.

Although,it may sound depressing the reality is that we always look forward to some thing. Just like the monkey from a branch to another. Yeah Yeah!! Only because I said this, it doesn't mean that I am above all these. They are all a part and parcel of life. The question then remains: Where is the end to this?

Many centuries passed by, Many advancements have come, Many new things invented...as we explored more light, the more shadow we created. Although on a practical bit, we have shown advancement, what is the next step of life? How long does the human race suffer?

Observe this:

If advancement was good..why is there a global warming?Lets understand that when some one invented the car, they didn't foresee these consequences. When some one invented the plastic, they did not fore see how toxic it could be if used on larger measures. Which implies that all the discoveries and inventions were just limited to time, vision and knowledge. If this is what technology is..would technology give us the peace of mind. Rest to the soul. It surely can buy you things which will kill the very nature of human being.

This is just a chain of thoughts. As radical as the nuclear reaction.

Happiness!

Sometimes, I think that we are so bound by time, thought, space and distance.

We think that what we know is correct. How do we know what we do not. The moment we come to a conclusion about some thing, it is the very moment that we stop growing up. The very moment is the initiation of self destruction. The reality is that there is nothing good or nothing bad. Its just a perception we have. That's important and what we feel about anything is truth for the moment. The definition of truth may change based on the form it takes. but we need to respect the form the truth it exists in at that moment. That's the true way to happiness. But in this world of recording everything, every incident is filed as a perception which is eating into our lives and leaving us misery.

Power of Perception

Where does perception originate ?- In Human Mind.

When we are kids, we are conditioned by our parents and friends which leave a thought pattern. When we rebel and grow, we fight the perception , which sediments another fine thought in our mind. We meet so many people, read their faces, draw our own theories, stand up to those theories, struggle and live saddling more of perception. When we face challenges we have an eye on it and a different one when the opposite person faces. These perceptions build a cobweb and hit us to our distress when things don't work out the way. When successful we float. All these friction to realize to get tired and crave for the rest ...

Such is the power of perception which can neither be created nor destroyed but can be modified

Not just that..there is some thing really strange about perceptions and their importance. All of us physically grow and are mentally conditioned to certain pattern of thoughts, lifestyle and plans. This keeps our mind in rest and helps us to perform our daily jobs efficiently. When you observe this, you will realise that by this perception you are blinding yourself from other thoughts and other things in life. If some one takes a risk of thinking from various perspectives, the mentioned beauty is lost.This beauty is not the reality in whole but is one's version of reality keeping in mind, the family,friends and work associated. So, where does some one get ultimate rest in reality? Do we all have to live life like our fathers have lived? Or like a cow which grazes, shits, sleeps and reproduces.

When we rebel to the existing pattern of things and experiment, we get worked out with the crests and troughs of the experiment while the process and later (mostly years) realize that you grew up. We are so lost with the thought processes because we fear to see some thing which is not expected.(This is again a perception )..

The whole world revolves around thoughts and to keep them up takes many lives.

Void

Did you ever notice that the ones who think have harmed you/hurt you in the past have not done it intentionally as in planned. They'd have done it because of their impulsive nature due to anger,jealousy ,fear etc.. Today, they are different . If you are carrying that hurt in your heart, it means that you have been truly hurt. But things change every day. To that matter, you'd have hurt some one when you were emotional too..At the end of the day, logic has no end and it takes the peace of mind. In the process the ones who appeared as friends are not friends any more. You hesitate to talk to them and see through them often. This creates a space inside you which takes away your happiness. We try to look out for some other sources to refill the space but that can never happen until we realise that....

We are all animals living in a society with norms. If we have true affection towards some one that's boon. Irrespective, every one is themselves. Nothing is going to stop forever. So thinking about this for long will cause only more pain and make living tougher. Don't we like better thinkgs to do?

You get what you want

I have been away from writing for some time which ate into my peace of mind. I met a lot of people on in the course of my life so far.What's interesting is the way things turned out. Some how, some thing tells me that we get what we want, may be late. When the desire in the soul is very deep and true and good. It comes true. There will still be things you need to deal with. You may not be comfy with a few things/people. You may not be able to create room for every one you meet. This creates whirl in mind which causes friction and eats away our peace of mind. To be able to love and accommodate others, you need to first be able to love yourself in a spiritual context. You also have to realize that respect is beyond love. It takes guts to respect some one for what they are . Because, in reality the relationships do not go smooth because they are bound by expectations which in the true world are not met most of the times except for when they are quantified. Now that the relationships are beyond numbers, they can only be measured through the happiness and joy we experience.