Who Am I?

I wake up with dreams and nightmares
I dress up to hear from some one
I am worried what would my neighbours say
I am unhappy to hear different about  myself
I think on what people think abt me and why they think so
I think why I am so and why notso
I tell myself dat I am bad and not
I correct myself for the language I speak
I compare myself toy colleagues, friends and others
I see  how the others suffer
I can't help but I tell myself that I have a reason
I prefer to be spoken well about
I get scared that people don't like me
I like to be an enigma and still want the people to be interested in me
I know and I don't know what I want
I fear disrespect from other
I die to be different
I love being pampered but cant pamper others
I search for my soul mate
I loathe myself and lookup to others
I am weak and strong
I am fat and thin
I feel eyes around me
I hear lips whispering
How strange there's so much with in me and still the world goes on
Who am I?
After all a human being?